MoExclusive

I am always 10 steps ahead of you, and everything that I do, I do it to benefit me your just the bastard who got lucky.

I think that its safe now to fully help you understand where I am in my life… So sometime between now and the 1st week of next month I must tell you something… :-)

…I always had commitment issues, I’m so in lust with being in love that I sometimes don’t think that “being in love” even exist anymore and so whom ever I choose to be in my life, I choose wisely and its well thought out before any other steps are taken. The man that I typically choose to encounter in moments like this are normally vulnerable, of course they don’t know that  at the time but I determine that by the amount of information they give me in the short time that I known them. The purpose behind that, is solely because of all the bullshit were individually going through, adding on another possible stress issue would be out the question… which boils down to… We don’t or wont have any obligations to one another in a sense of an emotional attachment. 

Through the mist of time in my involvement I find myself reverting to my natural ways of a women to a man, I begin to feel the attachment and I begin to fall slowly. And the moment I realize that I’ve attach myself to you, I immediately turn on this switch, I then weigh in my Pros and Cons relating to our relationship and who you are deep down and IF your even worth the effort  and typically the cons always out weigh the pros. And that’s when I realize I chose you for a reason… I plotted this out way before I knew that this very moment was going to happen. I chose you because I can easily detach myself from our relationship and that’s because ultimately deep down inside I knew you were never really good enough for the long run and we would have never work out.

          I am a hopeless romantic… I love romantic gesture from my partner and random acts of kindness, a good heart man, I enjoy having intellectual companionship and emotional intimacy. Oh and I indulge myself in entertainment but whats important is that I would rather drench myself with my significant other while cooking his favorite meal..or have spontaneous acts such as flying to Miami just to go watch a movie, and maybe dancing in the middle of the street or a simple kiss in the rain. but when melting yourself onto me while I’m sleeping and waking up in the middle the night just to lay your lips upon mine.

        I am easy to please. Once I given my heart. You don’t have to be this huge successor but when you are filled with ambitions and your actions are bringing your dreams and goals to life, I will support you through your patches, I will give you my last even if the last thing I have to offer is my heart. Only catch is… you must be willing to go along with my inimitable lifestyle without weighing me down. Because once given and opportunity, you’ll learn that I am so much more beautiful spiritually and mentally than I am physically. Are you ready? Here is goes…

            I been single for quite a bit and that can be displayed in two manners. 1. I cant keep a man or 2. I’m indecisive  Well in my case, honestly speaking is a little bit of both. I always been independent and my financial freedom has allows me to build this confident that no one can touch and what I’ve learn is that my confidence can read off to be very intimidating to others, which isn’t always the best thing. I get more gestures than actual approach. Surprise? Well I was. Because for a moment I thought that maybe I wasn’t approachable. What I notice is that the longer I continue to be single the picker I get. And I wont adjust them because I truly believe there’s someone out that still believes in the same thing that I do. So It takes a lot to keep me. Consistency is key. Don’t spoil me in the beginning to only go backs to your comfortable ways its unfair to me and ultimately to you because at this point you would have invested all this time to keep me that will only result in me walking away and I wont look back. Trust me.  I believe that’s why I’ve had problems with commitment to being in a long-term partnership and that’s just because I refuse to settle.

            There’s a saying that you allow the things in your life to happen. So once you allow something that you don’t believe in to occur the 1st time, shame on him. But the 2nd time shame on you. I know I have a lot to offer my learning’s as a woman to a man and every man that I encounter isn’t deserving of that opportunity. So its seems as if I can be a player. Sometimes a flirt, very sociable but only because I hate uncomfortable moments, so I adapt. Though once I commit myself I’m fully committed. Sexually. A girl have needs right? but It isn’t always as It seems so don’t begin having thoughts of your opinions so needless to say I’ve only been in 2 serious long term relationships and the last one was 6 years ago. In between time I gotten to know people but I never found myself to be vulnerable to anyone since 2007. I was great at making others feel how they wanted to feel though and in doing so I never step out of my character. Because genuinely in order for me to share any of my time with someone, that someone must be quite special to me to some extent because time is the only truth that I have to reveal my feelings. so when I love I truly love hard… There’s this desire I have to connect with my partners through words. and learning their worst. So that I can self reflect if I can add to his life.

          They ask why have you been single for so long? Well that’s because I been so happy for long. I’ve gotten so use to being alone and because of my independence the minute I begin to feel a mutual connection no matter how unbelievable it feels. Ill question it. You’ll begin to see me slowly remove myself. It seem as though my heart is on auto-pilot to remove any possible disappointment and that just simply means I’m falling and scared to love again because I don’t know if he feels the same. I realize I let my guards down and I have so much to give. That I sometimes may crave emotional tumult or perpetual reassurance from my partner not because I’m insecure but because I like to be reminded. So that I don’t let my heart go on auto pilot. I’m ready to be a women to my man I’m just scared to love again. Will you be patient enough to teach me?